Cats Have Hobbies Too!

Can I just vent here for a moment?
I'm really tired of humans acting all surprised when they find out that us cats have hobbies. Just the other day, Lo took this picture of me (I'd just finished up submitting my latest article for Jewish Feline magazine when she came around)... and you should have heard the hooting and hollering that went on at our house as she described my (apparently) hilarious behavior to Peef.

Seriously, folks. You humans lock us up in your homes and expect that we're sitting around doing nothing? What do you think we do all day while you are off galavanting out in the world? Sleep?

Well, I'm here to let you know that it's simply not true. We spend our time doing any number of interesting things. I, for one, spend my time studying the Torah (and I have become quite the guru in my own circles). I also enjoy writing in my journal, mastering the human language, and teaching Izzie Cat not to act so neurotic. I'm not certain I'm being terribly successful with the latter, but I'm hoping for a breakthrough very soon.

Speaking of crazy little Izzie, she spends most of her time doing odd things that will eventually earn her a place of honor at I Can Has Cheezburger. But, she keeps a pretty good cover while Peef and Lo are around. Yesterday, they caught her balancing precariously on the edge of one of the wicker chairs in the turret, but I don't think they suspected anything.

Yoyo has a modeling contract, the terms of which are often somewhat difficult to manage since she can't work outside the house. But she manages quite well by posing in the front windows. For such a young one, she really does keep herself quite busy.

Believe it or not, even Zoe spends her free time productively. Her hobbies include knitting blankets for homeless outdoor cats, teaching herself Engrish, and (more expectedly) plotting Yoyo's demise.

For those of you who have been frustrated by the ignorance of humans, I'm here to tell you that you're not alone. I also have a few words of encouragement. Take heart, my feline friends. It's probably just as well that no one suspects that we are productive members of society. It's far easier to get things done when the humans leave us alone.
Signing out for now... elmo

I Have Arrived.

Maybe you remember me? Elmo the Cat?
I used to write a column in the old Peef & Lo newsletter... until they so very rudely took their show online.

I apologise that it's taken me so long to make an appearance. It's been quite a challenge to get sufficient laptop time to actually compose anything of substance. But, after weeks of covering my tracks by "napping" on top of the keyboard, I've finally finished my first Web composition.

It's been a long time since I've written. And, in that time, not much has changed. The kittens that my owners brought home appear to be here to stay. Zoe is not particularly happy, but I have learned to find some joy in their company. I have employed Yoyo, the silly one, as my personal assistant. She keeps me warm during my naps, and keeps my head well-groomed. Izzie is another story. She stalks me at every opportunity, and hovers around me when I eat. She is a smelly, danderish beast, and I would prefer not to have to keep her acquaintance. But, she is generous with giving me bits of her breakfast every now and again, so I can't complain too loudly.

I am still plotting my escape to the Holy Land. And today I hope to put my latest plan into action. I've been feigning an ear infection for almost a month in the hopes of getting my masters to take me to the vet. I am not a big fan of the vet, but it does give me the opportunity to get outside, smell the fresh spring air, and get a good look at the terrain. If I'm very lucky, I'll be able to don a disguise and make my escape sooner than later.

I overheard that we have an appointment today at 10:45am.
Wish me luck.